Growing Spiritually: Waiting on God

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But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. – Micah 7:7

This feeling, of being ready to do what you were made to do, is so strong it burns like a fire within my soul. I cry out to God desperately, to please just please, tell me and lead me into the plan He has for me.

On the outside I feel like nothing is changing. I am still working my day job that is mind numbing, and still struggling to find time to put towards my passions. It seems as though the only thing changing is the lack of time that I have. More and more things step in the way to take up my time:
– College lasting into the summer and this fall, when I should have graduated in the spring.
– Having to take care of my new home.
– Working on some weekends to make extra money.
– Being asked to work more hours at my day job.

But why am I looking at these things as negatives. So, things may be taking up more of my time, and things may not be exactly how I want them, but I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason. So I tell God, I will wait on you. I will continue my days as is and wait until you open up a door for me to fulfill your ways.

And then it hit me…Are we truly waiting on God, or is he waiting on us?

One night as I was pouring my heart out to God about desperately wanting to pursue my passions and purpose, I clearly felt Him speak to me:

“Maybe you are not quite ready for what I have in store for you. Maybe you haven’t reached the level of spiritual maturity to fully succeed at the wonderful things I have planned for you. Maybe it isn’t you waiting on me. Maybe, Alicia, it’s me waiting on you to get serious and fully put me above all else.”

I lay there in the darkness of my bedroom at night, feeling the shade slowly pulling away from my eyes. I then could finally see why I am stuck and unable to move forward towards my dreams and the plans God has for me. It was so simple, but yet so important! I was not putting Him above all else. I was too focused on what I wanted and not what I had right in front of me. I was not studying the Bible enough or talking to my Lord enough. I needed to learn that if I have nothing and never accomplish my dreams or do anything spectacular in this world, as long as I have God, I have everything I will ever need or want.

My loss of time was a test. God was seeing if I could still find time for Him when I didn’t have the time to do much. And…I horribly failed. As my time became thin and quickly used up, I put God almost last. If I had time before bed that is when I would study his Word. I knew that my morning talk with Him on the commute to work was just not enough. I needed His Word and His Word became something that I gave time to IF I wasn’t too tired at night to read. I read the daily verse on the Bible app every day, but that was not close to being enough. My soul yearned for more, it needed more to fulfill the dreams that were burning within my soul to be fulfilled.

This is honestly something I am embarrassed to share and even admit to myself. But I realize that not everyone is perfect. We all have our downfalls and we are all trying to figure out life and how to grow closer to God. Growing spiritually is becoming a number priority for me now that I am realizing how it is truly affecting my health. I am not as peaceful and happy as I was before, when I was spending a lot of my time with God.

So, God has revealed to me that He is ready to use me, that He has tried to test how I manage my time when things get busy and I failed. But without a doubt I know that I have another chance to prove to Him that He comes first in everything. Now I know that it is me who is delaying the chance to fulfill my dreams. And I have now realized that perhaps I am not the one waiting on God to act, but He is waiting for me to grow more spiritually mature for all the wonderful things He has in store for me. I feel at peace knowing that I am not sitting here lost in the dust by God, but that He has something so great for me that I need to be trained and completely ready. I can now wait in peace as I am continually molded and growing into the woman God has destined me to be.

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  • In our busy schedules we certainly need to be making sure that we’re making the Lord top priority. That’s how he’s going to use us!

  • This was exactly what I needed to hear. With such a busy schedule and not having any time, I was in the same situation as you. There’s nothing worse than feeling yourself distant from God. It seems like the empty space will just keep growing. The desire to complete our mission is so strong but waiting is what He needs from us. Patience and Perseverance.

    • I’m so glad this could help you! I know it always makes me feel better when I know that I am not the only one going through these situations. And you are so right about how awful it is to feel distant from God. It always makes me panic and I can tell right away when I need to get myself back on track.

  • Waiting is so hard sometimes but it sometimes creates the most memorable moments in our walk with God!

    • Yes, you are absolutely right. It’s the tough times that always bring us closer to God as we end up relying solely on Him, which is how it should be 🙂

  • I related to this on many levels! I too have the deep yearning, but too often I let busyness steal me away from my time with God and then I wonder why I feel like I am waiting on Him. I love you point that maybe He is waiting on us . . .

    • I’m so glad that you could relate to this! I feel like so many of us let other things overwhelm us to the point where we never get to experience the greatness God has in store for us.